Have you ever tried to explain how you felt, or stated your opinion about something, only to be argued with? Yes, argued with about how you feel and debated with about what you have stated you believe! You know; those people who are quick to tell you that you can't or you shouldn't, or that you don't, feel like you claim you do? You know the retorts: Oh! you can't feel like that!! You shouldn't feel like that! Oh! You don't really mean that!! When I've encountered these reactions to my feelings I experience pure frustration. Then, how about times when you've just strongly asserted your opinion about something and then you're told it isn't your opinion at all? OH! NO! That's not what you believe!! Then they'll start a debate with you over behaviors or things you've said that they think; What about this/that!!? Falsely interpreting your past statements as their proof to contradict what you've just stated your opinion is!! It's baffling when we encounter this. I was discussing this kind of behavior to someone once. They explained that when this happens between people we simply aren't speaking each other's language. "Wait, I said, you're saying they're Japanese, and I'm Spanish?" "Yes, she nodded, that's right." Hmm; I was puzzled, we're both English. Yet, oddly I understand the analogy; we may as well be from different places.
Dreamily, I started to think about people like this as our shipmates; because we can be lost at sea together but when we stop at a port one of us is bound to jump ship and not return. Yet when we find our soulmate they drift with us, when we're lost we hold hands, we're happy to sail or to dock--or ride a wave. It's not confrontational [foreign] rhetoric we hope for in our closest relationships, its respectful acknowledgement, rich engagement, and heartfelt understanding. Even if we're from a different country a smile is universal-- something we can relate to. My belief is: if someone upsets you more than they can make you smile and you can't even own your feeings and opinions without a debate---who cares why you can't relate? Find a port, jump ship, and seek understanding.
6 hours ago